Offer of peace

Dear Upper Left Wisdom Tooth,

I believe, which I hope I’m mistaken, that I can feel you starting to make an appearance. Your location prevents me from seeing you, but I handed my Mom the flashlight and she thinks she may have caught you. If this is a mean trick and you’re trying to get me to freak out and call the dentist, I’m not doing it. At least for now. Let’s be friendly about this, shall we? Your presence is welcome if you fit into my mouth nicely, but I don’t know if I was blessed with that rare gift. If not, I would prefer that you would stay in your original home in my gums. It would be in the best interest of many. Follow the example of Upper Right Wisdom Tooth!

I would hate to be forced to extraction, as you probably would not benefit from that either. If you’d like to live and prosper, please be kind. Wouldn’t it be nice if you fit into my life nicely, and even helped my front teeth close the gap? Wishful thinking, I know.

I think your name implies that I should have the wisdom to call the dentist. I may have the wisdom, but the courage is another story. I know what will happen if I do that. First off, I will see an IV in my near future, which includes but is not limited to, passing out, nightmares, fear, and hyperventilation. As if that isn’t enough, I will also experience pain and will be temporarily prevented from eating. Don’t even tell me that I can drink shakes for a couple days. Need I explain? And if I tell them that my stomach will burn without proper amounts of food, they’ll also force an endoscope down my esophagus.

Oh, did you hear me joyfully recognize the fact that we don’t have dental insurance right now? But don’t tell anyone that we could easily add it to our plan. They’ll never think of that, right?

All I’m asking is if we could please get along. It would be much appreciated. I would brush you nicely twice a day, and you could even help me chew ice food more efficiently. Consider my offer as you are cutting through my gums.

Peace and surgery free wishes,
P.S. – If you refuse to oblige, I’ll need the Tooth Fairy’s address. She will be paying me proper condolences for this one.






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