How low can you go?

I’ve gone from a high to a low this week… Ryan has too quickly come and gone and I miss him already. Now I have heightened awareness of being alone and I don’t like it.

I’m also stuck in a lazy, unmotivated funk that I can’t seem to break through. For the past few weeks, I’ve really been tired of going to the few classes I have and doing the homework. Honestly, I go to class four times a week… that’s it. And only have two classes that require homework, one being very minimal. I’m sure some people would love to have a schedule like that. You’d think it would motivation come easier, but I think it makes it worse for me.

I’ve been going to bed too late and thus getting the bare minimum amount of sleep I need (8 hours). I need to get about 10 or 12 and then to wake up on the right side of the bed. Maybe tomorrow? There’s not much food around here, which forces me to resort to frozen pizzas and unhealthy foods. Everything is getting under my skin, like when my Mom was telling the wallpaper lady her life story and other things like the very beginnings of what I talked about in my last post. I’ve been feeling distant to the my family that I live with and almost feel out of place here.

Tonight, while I babysat for a friend and the baby slept, I finally worked on homework. Maybe I needed a change of environment. I don’t get out much, you know.

I need to get back to “normal.”

As of the last few days, the leaves are turning brown and falling off the trees. *tear* The trees are preparing for the dreaded season of winter. I don’t know how many more falls & winters in the mid-west I can bare or how many more months of loneliness/minimal human interaction I can take without going clinically insane.

I think I’ll go to Anderson next weekend.

I hope I wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed and motivated.

P.S.- Do you like my new blog header? Thanks for the faithful commenters out there, I thoroughly enjoy them. :)






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