On Thursday morning, I had my first counseling appointment that my Aunt set up for me with my permission. I was kind of nervous and anxious because I didn’t know what to expect, but as soon as I got there my nerves were eased.
She’s a sweet older lady, who happens to also have a theology degree and incorporated faith in the conversation the whole time! I was so glad because I couldn’t imagine being counseled without God in the picture.
I wondered how she would begin the appointment. She started it by asking about my family- immediate, aunts and uncles, grandparents… their ages, causes and age of the ones who have passed, my relationship with them…etc, and the conversation kinda went from there. Also, she asked about my spiritual life.
She asked how my family was dealing with the grief of my Dad passing and I explained how we are grieving separately. She stated exactly how I felt, “It feels as if I have lost both of my parents.” Yes. Not only that, but my family.
Strangely enough, she made me feel normal. She complimented me a lot, saying how I was very wise and mature. She said something like, “I’m not sure that you should have to pay me!” It made me feel good, but I told her I didn’t know how to fix my own problems. Obviously, that’s why I was there, but she said I seemed overall mentally healthy. I also explained how I don’t think “what ifs” about my Dad’s disease and passing, and I just accept that God had a reason for it all. She said that shows that I have a lot of trust in God.
I explained more of my situation, but we didn’t get too in depth about it yet. She encouraged me to step out and try to meet Christians on campus through some type of organization. Also, she said I just have to face my fears and she brought up the scripture about God not giving us the spirit of fear.
She said only Jesus can heal my broken heart from losing a parent and it will take a while. No denying that.
I wished the hour-long appointment was longer. It ended too quickly but I’m going back on Tuesday. She gave me an “assignment” for next time — to hand write a letter to my Dad, explaining how life has changed since he has passed. I’ve yet to do that since I’ve been in Indiana this weekend.
I’m hoping for the best! I’ll be writing about the other appointments as they come.
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