I am going to vent my frustration, anger, hurt, sadness, and give you just merely a glimpse of my aching heart.
You know what isn’t fair?
That my dad only has only months to live, according to doctors, based on the rapid spreading and aggressive, untreatable cancer
That my dad never smoked or chewed tobacco in his life and got oral cancer
That my dad will barely see 50 years of life
That my mom will be a widow before she’s even 50
That my dad has to suffer each day with uncontrollable pain, the inability to eat or sleep comfortably, or to sum it all up.. has no quality of life
That my dad has suffered for the past two years
Cancer
That my dad weighs only 125 lbs and is 5’11” and can’t gain back the 50 lbs he has lost
That cancer is not yet curable and so many people have lost their lives from it
That my Grandparents have to see their youngest son pass before them
That my mom, after losing her sister & father to cancer, and almost her mother for other reasons, has to also lose her husband
Human suffering
That high school sweethearts, who actually are a rare, happy couple who have been together for 25+ years, have to be cheated of growing old together
That my future children will only know their Grandpa from pictures and stories
That my future wedding will not be what I dreamed of without my dad
That my brother will be lost without his dad to look up to
That my brother will not have his dad watching him walk across the stage at graduation
Heartache
That my family will never be the same without my dad
That my dad’s loved ones will always be missing a piece of our hearts
That I am cheated of my “college years” and am at home without my friends around
That I will feel guilty for ever being far from my mom when she’s alone
That tears fall frequently at my home
That prayers aren’t answered the way we want
That there is SO much suffering, pain, heartache, and disease in this world
That my future looks so depressing right now
That there aren’t any words to say
Life isn’t fair.
[God, please hear our prayers and heal my dad, both physically and spiritually. Give us enough strength and courage to face each day. Turn those “months” into “years” with a miracle. Don’t let us lose sight of You through all this, but to grow closer to You.]
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